Pastor's Blog

Is There an “and” to Your Bitterness

1 Sam. 1:10 - … she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord, (KJV)

I am grateful for the little words of the Bible. In my Bible reading, I am often guilty of overlooking the little words. After all, Scripture is filled with such words. And besides, they are words that are too weak to stand alone. But when thoughtfully placed, they are capable of swaying the actions of great men, of softening the attitudes of the hard-hearted, and of strengthening the resolve of the weak-minded. As I contemplated in these verses the woeful condition of our heroine, I could not escape the power of that insignificant three-letter word “and.” The word told me that there was more to the story. It encouraged me to keep reading. In a brief moment of meditation, I found myself thanking God that bitterness could have an “and.”

For too many people, disappointment’s last word is “bitterness”. Something happened, and disappointment wedged its way into our heart. For a while he kept good company by telling us how right we were and how wrong they were. But his presence became tiresome. He soon wore out his welcome; and, when we finally wanted him to go, he wouldn’t leave. Disappointment had set up housekeeping in our hearts. He earned his keep by replaying in our minds the events that had made him a welcome guest in the first place. In this way, disappointment sought to gain our loyalty, to be seen as a trusted friend. But disappointment is not content to remain a child. He longs to mature. For when he grows up he becomes bitterness.

Bitterness will tolerate no afterthoughts, no second-guessing of oneself. Pride and stubbornness are to bitterness what exercise is to the body-builder. Any gesture that could be interpreted as a sign of weakness must be immediately suppressed. The ultimate goal of bitterness is absolute control. He is compulsively driven to eliminate all challenges to his authority. Bitterness demands to be worn on the sleeve in the same way that a soldier would wear the medals of his bravery. Because he has a life of his own, he has no interest in keeping clean the heart he inhabits. In fact, he seems to thrive on speculations, vain imaginations, and accusatory thoughts.

But I see an escape that is introduced to me by “and.” Prayer is not intimidated by bitterness. He will not bow down to its demands. Where prayer is a living reality, bitterness is terminally ill. In the happy words of the writer I have uncovered a way to evict bitterness. I am thankful for the wisdom of this woman who had the courage to name her illness and the determination to do something about it. For when she cried out to the Lord in the bitterness of her soul, she showed me the way of escape from the bitterness of my own soul. Now I know that disappointment can never fester long enough to develop immunity to prayer. Furthermore, as long as there is an “and” to my bitterness, I know that life’s disappointments will not be the end of my story.